Forums Splitboard Talk Forum The Tele Skier Joke Thread Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)Author Posts May 3, 2011 at 5:01 am #574830 Taylor 797 PostsHow many tele-skiers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb and one to smoke enough pot to make the room spin.No, wait… How many tele-skiers does it really take to change a light bulb? Nobody cares.What do you call a tele-skier fallen in the snow? A jib.What’s the literal translation of the Norwegian word “telemark?” Hey guys, wait up!How do you know if there’s a tele-skier at your party? They’ll tell you.What’s the difference between a tele-skier and The Lord? The Lord doesn’t think he’s a tele-skier.What does a tele skier say when you sneeze around them? I bless you.“You know they have a way to keep your heel from coming off the ski now?”“Change for a nickle?”“That rash clear up yet?”How do you find a tele skier in white out conditions? The smell.How do you really find a tele-skier in white out conditions? Nobody cares.What were the tele skier’s last words? I think I’ll try splitboarding…@sun_rocket May 3, 2011 at 3:11 pm #640014 aksltxlt 621 PostsWhat did the tele guy say when he ran out of weed?Man these bindings suck.What is the hardest thing about skiing?Telling your parents your gay. May 3, 2011 at 4:01 pm #640015 paulster 130 PostsAT = Already tele’d Fix the heel, fix the problem The AT skier is the one finishing his sandwich as the split boarder is finishing his/her transition Oops, wrong forum. 😯 May 3, 2011 at 9:44 pm #640016 surfsnowywaves 60 PostsHow many tele skiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?Three, one to screw in the lightbulb, and two to say “Nice turns!”How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb?Three, on to screw in the lightbulb, one to film it, and one to take pictures.What do you say to the (tele skier/at skier/splitboarder/raft guide/mtn guide/etc) in a three piece suit?“Would the defendant please rise.”And a favorite of the ski patrollers when I was the only snowboarder on patrol for a while:How does a boarder greet you in the liftline?“Sorry dude” May 3, 2011 at 10:40 pm #640017 jbaysurfer 947 PostsRandonee-French for “Can’t Tele”It’s not quite what you were looking for..but I saw it on a bumper sticker at a ski resort once and got a kick.How do you know when a date with a tele skier is over? He says: “enough about me, lets talk about tele!” (credit to Jim Z. who told it with a pro snowboarder as the subject) May 4, 2011 at 12:20 am #640018 dude_reino 467 PostsI never thought I’d see the day when another group takes the stereotypical marijuana jokes away from us snowboarders. 🙁 May 4, 2011 at 5:53 am #640019 fustercluck 668 PostsI believe this pic says it all May 4, 2011 at 7:25 pm #640020 bcd 232 PostsWhoa. A blast from the past. I forgot about that! May 4, 2011 at 9:20 pm #640021 shasta 143 PostsThat pic does say it all: “skiing” in the back seat = no style points.How do you get a snowboarder off your porch? Pay for the pizza.Telemark: Norwegian for faceplant:thumpsup: May 6, 2011 at 4:47 am #640022 stoudema 551 PostsDrop the knee, squat to pee.You know you’re a telemarker when,:You clean your VW bus and smoke the shake you find on your car mats…. You can ask for weed in 12 other languages…. You get excited every time a protest or rally comes up……. You’re the first one at the protest . . . the first one to get sprayed in the face with pepper spray and shot with rubber bullets . . . and the last one to get out of jail and go back to your tent…. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it….. You let your 12-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids….. May 6, 2011 at 3:32 pm #640023 brg 141 PostsIf it took twice as long and had twice as many turns it would be called telemarking.Telemark = French for flailTelemark = French for go slow May 6, 2011 at 4:36 pm #640024 Powder_Rider 498 Posts May 6, 2011 at 5:56 pm #640025 sdmarkus 407 Posts😆 Good stuff, even Shasta got involved 😉^^^Just imbed the code rather than the full link – 23cZDK_sNEY[youtube:3i0niicx]23cZDK_sNEY[/youtube:3i0niicx] Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
