Forums Splitboard Talk Forum The Tele Skier Joke Thread
Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
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  • #574830
    Taylor
    797 Posts

    How many tele-skiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    Two. One to hold the bulb and one to smoke enough pot to make the room spin.

    No, wait… How many tele-skiers does it really take to change a light bulb?
    Nobody cares.

    What do you call a tele-skier fallen in the snow?
    A jib.

    What’s the literal translation of the Norwegian word “telemark?”
    Hey guys, wait up!

    How do you know if there’s a tele-skier at your party?
    They’ll tell you.

    What’s the difference between a tele-skier and The Lord?
    The Lord doesn’t think he’s a tele-skier.

    What does a tele skier say when you sneeze around them?
    I bless you.

    “You know they have a way to keep your heel from coming off the ski now?”

    “Change for a nickle?”

    “That rash clear up yet?”

    How do you find a tele skier in white out conditions?
    The smell.

    How do you really find a tele-skier in white out conditions?
    Nobody cares.

    What were the tele skier’s last words?
    I think I’ll try splitboarding…

    @sun_rocket

    #640014
    aksltxlt
    621 Posts

    What did the tele guy say when he ran out of weed?

    Man these bindings suck.

    What is the hardest thing about skiing?

    Telling your parents your gay.

    #640015
    paulster
    130 Posts

    AT = Already tele’d
    Fix the heel, fix the problem
    The AT skier is the one finishing his sandwich as the split boarder is finishing his/her transition
    Oops, wrong forum. 😯

    #640016
    surfsnowywaves
    60 Posts

    How many tele skiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Three, one to screw in the lightbulb, and two to say “Nice turns!”

    How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Three, on to screw in the lightbulb, one to film it, and one to take pictures.

    What do you say to the (tele skier/at skier/splitboarder/raft guide/mtn guide/etc) in a three piece suit?

    “Would the defendant please rise.”

    And a favorite of the ski patrollers when I was the only snowboarder on patrol for a while:

    How does a boarder greet you in the liftline?

    “Sorry dude”

    #640017
    jbaysurfer
    947 Posts

    Randonee-French for “Can’t Tele”

    It’s not quite what you were looking for..but I saw it on a bumper sticker at a ski resort once and got a kick.

    How do you know when a date with a tele skier is over? He says: “enough about me, lets talk about tele!” (credit to Jim Z. who told it with a pro snowboarder as the subject)

    #640018
    dude_reino
    467 Posts

    I never thought I’d see the day when another group takes the stereotypical marijuana jokes away from us snowboarders. 🙁

    #640019
    fustercluck
    668 Posts

    I believe this pic says it all

    #640020
    bcd
    232 Posts

    Whoa. A blast from the past. I forgot about that!

    #640021
    shasta
    143 Posts

    That pic does say it all: “skiing” in the back seat = no style points.

    How do you get a snowboarder off your porch?
    Pay for the pizza.

    Telemark: Norwegian for faceplant

    :thumpsup:

    #640022
    stoudema
    551 Posts

    Drop the knee, squat to pee.

    You know you’re a telemarker when,:

    You clean your VW bus and smoke the shake you find on your car mats….
    You can ask for weed in 12 other languages….
    You get excited every time a protest or rally comes up…….
    You’re the first one at the protest . . . the first one to get sprayed in the face with pepper spray and shot with rubber bullets . . . and the last one to get out of jail and go back to your tent….
    You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it…..
    You let your 12-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids…..

    #640023
    brg
    141 Posts

    If it took twice as long and had twice as many turns it would be called telemarking.

    Telemark = French for flail

    Telemark = French for go slow

    #640024
    Powder_Rider
    498 Posts

    #640025
    sdmarkus
    407 Posts

    😆 Good stuff, even Shasta got involved 😉

    ^^^Just imbed the code rather than the full link – 23cZDK_sNEY

    [youtube:3i0niicx]23cZDK_sNEY[/youtube:3i0niicx]

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