The Tele Skier Joke Thread

[Taylor]

How many tele-skiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb and one to smoke enough pot to make the room spin.

No, wait… How many tele-skiers does it really take to change a light bulb?
Nobody cares.

What do you call a tele-skier fallen in the snow?
A jib.

What’s the literal translation of the Norwegian word “telemark?”
Hey guys, wait up!

How do you know if there’s a tele-skier at your party?
They’ll tell you.

What’s the difference between a tele-skier and The Lord?
The Lord doesn’t think he’s a tele-skier.

What does a tele skier say when you sneeze around them?
I bless you.

“You know they have a way to keep your heel from coming off the ski now?”

“Change for a nickle?”

“That rash clear up yet?”

How do you find a tele skier in white out conditions?
The smell.

How do you really find a tele-skier in white out conditions?
Nobody cares.

What were the tele skier’s last words?
I think I’ll try splitboarding…

@sun_rocket

[aksltxlt]

What did the tele guy say when he ran out of weed?

Man these bindings suck.

What is the hardest thing about skiing?

Telling your parents your gay.

[paulster]

AT = Already tele’d
Fix the heel, fix the problem
The AT skier is the one finishing his sandwich as the split boarder is finishing his/her transition
Oops, wrong forum. 😯

[surfsnowywaves]

How many tele skiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, one to screw in the lightbulb, and two to say “Nice turns!”

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, on to screw in the lightbulb, one to film it, and one to take pictures.

What do you say to the (tele skier/at skier/splitboarder/raft guide/mtn guide/etc) in a three piece suit?

“Would the defendant please rise.”

And a favorite of the ski patrollers when I was the only snowboarder on patrol for a while:

How does a boarder greet you in the liftline?

“Sorry dude”

[jbaysurfer]

Randonee-French for “Can’t Tele”

It’s not quite what you were looking for..but I saw it on a bumper sticker at a ski resort once and got a kick.

How do you know when a date with a tele skier is over? He says: “enough about me, lets talk about tele!” (credit to Jim Z. who told it with a pro snowboarder as the subject)

[dude_reino]

I never thought I’d see the day when another group takes the stereotypical marijuana jokes away from us snowboarders. 🙁

[fustercluck]

I believe this pic says it all

[bcd]

Whoa. A blast from the past. I forgot about that!

[shasta]

That pic does say it all: “skiing” in the back seat = no style points.

How do you get a snowboarder off your porch?
Pay for the pizza.

Telemark: Norwegian for faceplant

:thumpsup:

[stoudema]

Drop the knee, squat to pee.

You know you’re a telemarker when,:

You clean your VW bus and smoke the shake you find on your car mats….
You can ask for weed in 12 other languages….
You get excited every time a protest or rally comes up…….
You’re the first one at the protest . . . the first one to get sprayed in the face with pepper spray and shot with rubber bullets . . . and the last one to get out of jail and go back to your tent….
You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it…..
You let your 12-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids…..

[brg]

If it took twice as long and had twice as many turns it would be called telemarking.

Telemark = French for flail

Telemark = French for go slow

[Powder_Rider]

[sdmarkus]

😆 Good stuff, even Shasta got involved 😉

^^^Just imbed the code rather than the full link – 23cZDK_sNEY

[youtube:3i0niicx]23cZDK_sNEY[/youtube:3i0niicx]

[Author]

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